


99 Problems

by Jaune_Chat



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, John Watson is a Smooth Operator, John's Jumpers, M/M, Sexual Content, Sherlock Being Sherlock, ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1872342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaune_Chat/pseuds/Jaune_Chat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has 99 problems, and John is all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	99 Problems

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Come_at_once's 24-hour porn challenge.](http://come-at-once.livejournal.com/56387.html)

“They’re _all_ problematic,” Sherlock said, striding extravagantly back and forth in fine ranting fashion.

John shouldn’t bite. He shouldn’t. He knew better.

But sometimes he had his own problems, just as bad as Sherlock’s, in their own way.

“And what is it this time?” he asked, looking up from his paper.

Sherlock turned and practically lunged for John, taking his jumper in his fist and dragging him to his feet. “This blasted jumper. It ages you. These shoes, they’re hideously practical. The belt, atrocious. Trousers, blah to the point of annoyance. Your hair, still a week’s cut away from the barracks, and you don’t really seem to care. The color of it, just…!” Sherlock threw his hands up, as if even his famous eloquence had deserted him. He was back in the next second, John’s head trapped in his hands as if in a vice. “The wrinkles in your skin, here, at the corners of your eyes. The gray hairs at your temples. Your eyes. Your _eyes_ , John, they’re a problem.”

Another problem was arising, and Sherlock wouldn’t be able to avoid noticing it.

“Their color is distracting and their sincerity is, frankly, annoying. Your clothes in general, right now, are a criminal offense, John.”

“Moving a little fast, aren’t you?”

“An offense against logic and decency,” Sherlock all but snarled, pulling the clothing off with all the finesse of a toddler opening a present. “Terrible quality, terrible tailoring, problems, John, a wrinkled heap of problems.”

There was a time when John might have been embarrassed about being naked in his sitting room with Sherlock. That time was long, long past. His priorities had been rather skewed through long association.

“Was that all?” John asked, as Sherlock just stared up and down his body. He said it with a smile tugging at his lips, and Sherlock shot him an annoyed glance before reaching out to touch.

“The breadth of your shoulders, the scars here, the freckles, all are an incredible problem, John.” His hands were touching, raising goosebumps, breath drawing close to the skin to warm it. Mapping every freckle, every scar, almost close enough to taste the skin. “Your feet, your legs, your waist, even your member, intensely distracting and problematic for all involved.”

Sherlock was running bright and hot now, his hands skimming, touching, and withdrawing, staring and trying to _solve_ John like a puzzle.

That was John’s problem, his biggest one. He liked being solved, or as much as Sherlock was ever able.

Sherlock pressed his lips right to John’s ear, “Your cock, John. It’s the worst problem of all.”

“And why so?”

“Because it isn’t in my throat. Problematic in the extreme.”

“Then let me solve it for you,” John said, and grabbed onto Sherlock’s hair and pulling him down to face his problem. With a sigh, Sherlock sank gracefully to his knees and let John take on one of his biggest challenges.


End file.
